Monday, 8 December 2008

Freestyling!!!!!.... well, poetry.

I've had the cold and i find that's made my mind very unmotivated and i don't like to think about anything at all really, because everything's depressing.
So this blog, is not anything influential, it's not an interesting commentary or the habits of society or my peers.
What it is, is simply some of the freestyles that i have participated in today.
Yes freestyles, or poetry to the less hip, more commonly known as the 'white man'.
You may ask, "But Kyle, you don't participate in the world of hip hop? Never have i seen you with even the smallest amount of bling, nor with the weakest of ak's, nor with the skankiest of ho's,"
Well, if you open your mind, poetry battles is probably the best thing to make a boring day on the internet a little bit better.
So without out further a poo :

Kyle Daniel Lochhead says:
cameron black
yer sacks a fukn sack
if yi havent noticed yet this is a fukn freestyle
and yir about tae git pumped of a poet called kyle
technically its a poem, cos we're both caucasian
but that doesnt mean that ma poems arent amazin
take e fukn mic
or keyboard or watever
or are u guna syke
and fukn spew out yer liver

Cameron Black says:
nah i be reppin fresh from the top of my head
my rymes will nock you sick , snuggled up in your bed
ill spit it to this beat , that there is not
then stuff and thing that ryme with what
Im fresh , i cant be touched , im a man of the night
dont be hatin on me cause my skin colour is white
i know im good man , but i dont like to boast
I know im white, but man, you look like you seen a ghost

Kyle Daniel Lochhead says:
look mate, stop tryn to make these poems all about race,
the colour isnt the worst thing about ur ugly face,
seen a ghost? wee man i dont believe in paranormal,
and just because i can, im guna make this rhyme formal:
dear sir, you appear to be unskilled in the art of rappin,
it'd be my suggestion drop the mic and start nappin,
because i'm a good sport, it'd be spiffing to keep going,
cos theres no way my spits will ever stop the flowing,
so on that note
on that final mile
im ending the poem here
yours sincerley, kyle.

Cameron Black says:
dont be hatin on me like im fuckin fem-in-en
I know i cant rap, stole the last line from em-in-em
ill try not to hurt you, spare you my gravement
any mere eh that shit though , splat yer brains on the pavement
ill keep this goin , my keyboards on fire
rappin so hard youl early retire
if your smart enough youl give up hope
layin this shit down sweeter than afgahn dope

Cameron Black says:
:))there so fun:))

Kyle Daniel Lochhead says:
'there so fun' here thats one of ur quotes,
thats so much a shiter it'd probably float,
floatin like a toli without the aid of a boat,
yer minds rainin so much shite al needtae buy a coat,
am thinkin about copyin these to ma blog,
but as insides jokes they could be as clear as fog,
and incase yer an arsehole thats not very clear,
and if yi hate that metophor al slit yi ear to ear,
cos ma mind comes up with the most beautiful things,
and am not talkin about silk sheets and fancy diamond rings,
but more so things that are less materialistic,
things that stick in yer head like there drippin in prit stick,
things that involve subjects you've never heard of,
things thatl cos the poshest of men to buy a bergos,
things that regard no ettiquette or boundries,
things that are hotter than molten steel in foundries,
things that can cos a fate not much better than rabies
infact... thinkin about it.. all these things are dead babies.

Cameron Black says:
kicken it fresher than ever, like a newborn pup
ma rymes are so fly, layin it down straight up
ill talk about anything you want from the bible to toast
lyrics to make chill and cold like jack froast
like a snowman
and ill demand
on a stand
than ma hand
will comand
and strike you
its a matter of fact, i dont like you
come back , try to spit and defend
its over for now , but this aint the end

Kyle Daniel Lochhead says:
first of all, yer last lines a contradiction,
word of warnin av git mare blades then yer granny bettys kitchen,
thats one of the many reasons you should stop the act now,
or you'll be more up for the slaughter than a beefy angus cow,
the bible to toast? fair enuf thats quite a range,
but neither of them subjects can cos ma life to change,
its not amount of subject matter, its wether its relevant,
and if you look, yours is trivial, like a thimble to an elephant,
so thats ma revolt, is that quite all?
cause you know if you call back again, your guna fall

Cameron Black says:
Yer skills are pish , random collection of words
Insapration - flight-of-the-con-cords
Coming up against you turns out as a joke
i think your dreaming ,you need to be woke
from you sleep, about elephants and cows
and finally realise that right about nows
the time,
to give up trying,
up-ag-ainst-me-equals-lyri-cly -dying
nice try, but it ends today
pack up your shit son, and get on your way

That was my rhymes with cameron, go on his blog at

And the following rhymes are my rhymes with Laurie, you might not understand these ones. Especially if you're in any way, not as cool as us.

Kyle Daniel Lochhead:
aw forgot to ask, see next weekend?
don't bring down any kitchens or time,
and please do not let me serf any highly raised wine,
bring down the receipt from where u purchased ur saed,
and if yoov not had a jesus supper ur not goin to bed,
we'll be stickin on some music, a cant think of life without it,
same goes for any splendid yellow ping pong player outfits,
when yer down we best be checkin flights for fukn amsterdam,
and a wham bam merci danke thanka ya mam,
bita beer,
bita lite
never fear
pickin fights
but now, look, the poems come to an end
and im out of bebo love,its rare, so we'll just have to pretend.


Laurie Veitch:
that poem you sent me was a wee bit too Lite,
hopefully this one will turn out to be, suhlight,
but a need to go n finish ma lamp soon,
then ill be stickin eh fuckin wine doon,
can't wait to be chln,
cant wait, it'll be saed,
cant wait to be drappin eh chilli n bread,
cant wait tae tan,aw eh free wine,
cos lets be honest, wen have i ever had time,
gonnae return on wednesday to ma home,
if am not back by then a think ill fuckin BWOHM!

that was my rhymes with laurie, go on his blog at

I hope this post made you giggle atleast thrice.
Peace and love! x

1 comment:

Cameron said...

People are gona think we are serious. hahaha.