Wednesday, 29 April 2009

Alphabet of doom, i love pigs, nothings going to change my world, Om.

Know what's wrong with everyone?
Bad music.

You know when you go on youtube, and you start typing, it gives you suggestions of popular searches from around the whole world.

I went through the whole alphabet and it was all bad music as the first suggestion, basicly.

Heres the list

akon
beyonce
chris brown
disturbia
eminem
Fall out boy
green day
hot n cold (katy perry song)
i kissed a girl
just dance (lady gaga)
katy perry
lil wayne
miley cyrus
ne-yo
obama (lol)
pink
queen (i like queen)
rhianna
single ladies (beyonce song)
t pain
usher
vanessa hudgens
Womanizer
X factor
young jeezy
Zac efron





AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bland age, i wish everyone would just be fucking cool.

I've pretty much been unhappy ever since i was old enough to realise that the 60's existed, and i wasn't there.

What horrible spew music, it'd be nice to think that people are going to become cooler and smarter, but i'm telling you now, there fucking not. Everyones just going to get more stupid and all of the problems we have just now are going to grow, because it's optimum conditions for it. I'd hope that at some point in my lifetime, a big change would happen, but it's not, i'm going to die, surrounded by idiots. I completley understand suicide bombers, seriously, 'I don't like these people, i don't want to live with them, i'm going to put myself out of misery, and kill as many as i can while i'm at it,'
Fair enough, good on you.

Swine flu? Great fucking idea, i'm backing it. Just turn up the notch to pandemic for 40 days and 40 nights, please. Is there anything i can do to help? Not cover my mouth? Great! Less work for me, not wash my hands? Great, more time to spend moaning about bad music.

I think pigs have an amazing taste in music, i bet they just rock out to hendrix and the beatles and eat mushrooms all day, and they here all the fannys driving past there farms playing lady gaga, and one of them just went:
"Here,"
"What?"
"Naw hink there musics shite?"
"Aye, so balls man,"
"Innit mate, here, see how we're fuckin dirty bastards?"
"Aye,"
"Well wattae jiss go up n cough on hunners o them?"
"Aye actually, worth a shot,"

BOOM swine flu.

i love pigs, thank you pigs, continue with your good music, and please cough on lady gaga.

You might think i'm taking peoples music tastes to seriously, but i'm completley not, it has so much to do with it. Sound is crazy, it does crazy shit, it can provoke emotions and heal you and shit, you know when buddhists go 'Ommm,' Well, they say it because 'Om' is what they call, the sound of the universe, the sound of the constant flux of the whole universes true identity, and when you speak old manuscripts in the ancient languages and watch the sound waves they manipulate shit, i don't know much about it, it's crazy though.
But music is just a more concious version of that, what are you actually getting out of a horrible song like 'single ladys,' by beyonce, i like dance music, and i don't want to dance to this, it doesn't have a good beat, it offers nothing, the only reason you like it is because you like beyonce and you like things that are familier to you, and it's familier because the people who want money from you, play it to you so you listen to it more. 'AAA DUHH SINNGUU LAYYY, AAA DUHH SINGUU LAYSSS, AAA DUUUHH SINGUU LAYYS,'
fuck off.

listen to the beatles, really.
I think if the most tragic thing that could ever happened to me happened to me, something really tragic, take my dear gran, she's lived through wars and hard times throughout the century, say she got beaten up by a bunch of neds, another result of our shitty stupidity and media, you'd think i'd be raging and distraught if that happened, but i think if it did happen, and i listened to a couple of beatles songs, i'd be completley content again, if i stuck on 'across the universe' and listened to it on repeat a coupla of times, it'd just bring back the feeling of 'it's just a ride,' and that everyones everything and nothing matters and theres no such thing as death and everythings trivial and i can change the world because i am the world and all i have to do is nothing at all.

Jai guru deva, Om. Nothings going to change my world, nothings going to change my world.

Good music does alot.

If that happened to my Gran and i listened to 'AAAA DUHH SINGULL LAYYSS, AAAA DUHHH SINGULLL LAAY,' by beyonce i'd get nothing, apart from stupider and stupider, but, i've noticed, that that type of stupid person, completley thrives in the way things work just now.

All you need to do to have a 'succesful' life just now is, be good looking, be able to remember hundreds of shit, afford clothes, preferably super dry, afford hair gel, make it clear you listen to the latest music (AA DUH SINGUL LAY), be productive.


"Fitter, happier, more productive,
comfortable,
not drinking too much,
regular exercise at the gym
(3 days a week),
getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries ,
at ease,
eating well
(no more microwave dinners and saturated fats),
a patient better driver,
a safer car
(baby smiling in back seat),
sleeping well
(no bad dreams),
no paranoia,
careful to all animals
(never washing spiders down the plughole),
keep in contact with old friends
(enjoy a drink now and then),
will frequently check credit at
(moral) bank (hole in the wall),
favors for favors,
fond but not in love,
charity standing orders,
on Sundays ring road supermarket
(no killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants),
car wash
(also on Sundays),
no longer afraid of the dark or midday shadows
nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate,
nothing so childish - at a better pace,
slower and more calculated,
no chance of escape,
now self-employed,
concerned (but powerless),
an empowered and informed member of society
(pragmatism not idealism),
will not cry in public,
less chance of illness,
tires that grip in the wet
(shot of baby strapped in back seat),
a good memory,
still cries at a good film,
still kisses with saliva,
no longer empty and frantic
like a cat
tied to a stick,
that's driven into
frozen winter shit
(the ability to laugh at weakness),
calm,
fitter,
healthier and more productive
a pig
in a cage
on antibiotics."


Everything else has been set up to work its self to your benefit around that.

If that's the way you choose to seek happyness, enjoy you're wheel of samsara while i'm surfing around the infinite kaliedascope of one-ness called love.

I'm sorry to be so mean, i love you.

Nothings going to change my world, Om.


Tuesday, 10 March 2009

Please, 40 days and 40 nights.

Hate
This
Decade.

I feel how invisible man in the sky number 1 felt when he made it rain for 40 days and 40 nights, he probably just hated the decade you know, because if i had the power to make it rain for 40 days and 40 nights i would, but neither 'God'  nor 'Storm from X-men' can help me out with that, cheers bastards.

I'd bet that in the decade where God done that, everyone was listening to shit music, nobody was thinking, idiots where in charge and young people where watching Skins series minus 1 BC.

The decade we're in now has brought us all of these wonderful things;
-Stupid people
-Bad music
-Stupid people being in charge of bad music
-Stupid people being in charge of smart people (which gradually turned into.....)
-Stupid people being in charge of stupid people
-People with no opinion of there own
-People with no creativity
-Zombies
-Zombies
-Zombies
-Hadouken
-Zombies

We're literally living in dawn of the dead, the zombie apocolypse. 
In that we have millions of people with no brains walking around.
Eating other peoples brains in that everything they express themselves with is out of the minds of other people.
Another similarity is that if you shoot them in the head they die.

Never have i felt so embarassed about being a teenager.
I'm going to give u a comparasin, here's what teenagers wanted in the 60's:
Peace, Love, Happyness, Enlightenment, Spiritual Awakenings, Knowledge, Unity, Loss of materialism, Loss of physical vessels.

Heres what teenagers from our decade want:
That dress that like, that dress that em that girl from skins had on aw it was soooo lovely, em like hat that the guy from hadouken had on aw its sooo nice, Guns, bling bling, ho's, heat magazine, to be in heat magazine.

I'm getting myself in a bad mood.
I'm going for a bath.

Tuesday, 17 February 2009

Self Destruction 101

Heres how to become self destructive in 26 easy steps

1)A vodka pineapple please mate.
2)www.youporn.com
3)Prefer own company, to company of peers.
4)Criticise everything.
5)Awrite, eh same again please, vodka pineapple? Infact double please.
6)Don't criticise anything done/decided by yourself, you are right.
7)www.youporn.com
8)Find out about really bad chemicals like aspartame and flouride being in diluting juices and flavoured water.
9)Drink more diluting juice and flavoured water than you ever have in your life, regardless of full knowledge about bad chemicals, in search of the probably unexistant chaos/excitement that these chemicals might bring about.
10)Discover super noodles.
11)Eh, another double vodka pineapple and a shot of jaigermeister please mate, cheers.
12)www.youporn.com
13)Force yourself to get up early for college/work, only to spoil your own effort by intentionally being slower than you need to, and taking 5 to 10 minute periods of pausing what you're doing, staring into space and switching off you're mind to everything, except the fact you're almost completley intentionally making yourself late, and letting people down, all the while being uplifted by the possibility of these bleak prospects.
14)EHHH HAHA, EHHH 2 JAIGERBOMBS AN' A DOUBLE VODKA AND RED BULL HAHAA.
15)Intentionally stare at the scariest looking ned out of the gang right in the eye when walking past, a ned you would have blanked in any way possible previously, even if not seeking conflict with said ned. (see number 9. for logic)
16)www.youporn.com
17)Open savings account, withdraw money from it for alcohol until all is gone. (Acknowledge self loathing that comes with this step)
18)Blatantly ignore any potential for relationships, chant 'It's just a fuck about, she doesn't even like me,' mantra.
19)AA WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE BARS SHUT?! AM JUS SAYIN ONE LAST DRINK FUCK SAKE!
20)Become increasingly un fond of social situations, lose motivation to fake conversation for the sake of a pleasent social experience, create akward moments when possible.
21)Carefully set out in head, a to do list for near future that will better life in all areas.
22)Take completed to do list, regurarly look at it, make promises and deadlines for certain tasks.
23)NEVER complete said tasks.
24)Bask in self dissapointment when all deadlines have passed, throw away to do list.
25)Question achievments of recent years, try not to commit suicide.
26)Double you double you double you dot you porn dot com

Sunday, 1 February 2009

Economy? lol

"You say you want a revolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world
You tell me that it's evolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world
But when you talk about destruction
Don't you know that you can count me out
Don't you know it's gonna be all right


You say you got a real solution
Well, you know
We'd all love to see the plan
You ask me for a contribution
Well, you know
We're doing what we can
But when you want money
for people with minds that hate
All I can tell is brother you have to wait
Don't you know it's gonna be all right


You say you'll change the constitution
Well, you know
We all want to change your head
You tell me it's the institution
Well, you know
You better free you mind instead
But if you go carrying pictures of chairman Mao
You ain't going to make it with anyone anyhow
Don't you know it's gonna be all right
all right, all right
all right, all right, all right
all right, all right, all right ,"


Some wise and what should be especially relevant words from great John Lennon.
All the economy business is getting a bit mental, riots in france, they've probably got the right idea, it's not really up to the people in charge to handle it, clearly, they're the greedy sick minds that got us into all the shit, and don't dismiss the possibility that this could be what they intended. It's up to the majority to sort it out, get shit done, naa'msayin?
Doesn't matter though.

Friday, 2 January 2009

Awrite Pal

Awrite pal, it's January, and what's January? A really big fucking Monday. There's something really unsatisfying about it even if it seems unjustified, I've just worked my way through 12 months of bollocks to get to the Christmas and new year season, and now I've got to start again. A big fucking Monday, and it's another 12 months away from the big fucking Friday night.
Christmas season was good funs, went out for my birthday, then out for Christmas eve's eve, then Christmas eve, then boxing day, then boxing day after party, then the celebration of the great 28th of December, then hogmany eve's eve, then hogmany eve, then hogmany, hogmany of course carries on until about 3 in the afternoon on new years day, to be awoken by Brendan's friendly head in you're face saying "SLICE? BACON?... YOU WANT ANY SLICE OR BACON?" yes Brendan, yes i fucking do, and it was a beautiful slice sanny that would leave even Gordon Ramsay shaking in his swear words and herbs and over pronounced wrinkles. And now i am in bed, and have been for about 2 days.
I'm trying to promise myself that I'm going to do something really productive tomorrow, because in a few days i have to get back into the swing of college paper work, tesco money work, structured routines and early rises. Not that i really put any motivation into that before the holidays but I'm allowed to start now if i want.
I've made a list of all the things i want to achieve in 2009, here it is.
1. Go back to Holland
2. Well that's actually all I've got so far, but i am working on it.
And that's all i have to say really, the transition from 2008 to 2009 didn't make much change to be honest, all that's changed is that there's now a hamsters hutch plus 1 hamster in my bathroom, and i have a new hat.
Hope you all had absolutely indescribable holidays, have a happy giant fucking Monday.
Peace and love x